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Clever corporate layoff strategy
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Author:  Cylord [ Thu 04-29-2010 4:58PM ]
Post subject:  Clever corporate layoff strategy

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars & have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, so I gave it to them. I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS :-)

Author:  MirageX [ Thu 04-29-2010 5:15PM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

Hah, nice one.

Author:  koulevprime [ Fri 04-30-2010 12:28PM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

Perfectly legal too.

Author:  tommytomtomtom [ Fri 04-30-2010 4:25PM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

Or, they will use various tax shelters to hide millions. The CFO, CEO, and board members will then all get massive bonuses for their "creativity", and they will lay people off/cut benefits anyway. Do you really think that when potential profits are in the millions or billions a company will just take their marbles and go home? Why do you think that the tax code is so massive? Corporate interest have lobbied year in-year out for special treatment, deductions for this, tax credits for that. And when they don't get their way, they find all sorts of other clever ways to minimize their tax liabilities.

Author:  el_lorenzo [ Fri 04-30-2010 7:26PM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

tommytomtomtom wrote:
Or, they will use various tax shelters to hide millions. The CFO, CEO, and board members will then all get massive bonuses for their "creativity", and they will lay people off/cut benefits anyway. Do you really think that when potential profits are in the millions or billions a company will just take their marbles and go home? Why do you think that the tax code is so massive? Corporate interest have lobbied year in-year out for special treatment, deductions for this, tax credits for that. And when they don't get their way, they find all sorts of other clever ways to minimize their tax liabilities.


HOORAY FOR AMERICA!

Author:  Cylord [ Fri 04-30-2010 10:19PM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

el_lorenzo wrote:
tommytomtomtom wrote:
Or, they will use various tax shelters to hide millions. The CFO, CEO, and board members will then all get massive bonuses for their "creativity", and they will lay people off/cut benefits anyway. Do you really think that when potential profits are in the millions or billions a company will just take their marbles and go home? Why do you think that the tax code is so massive? Corporate interest have lobbied year in-year out for special treatment, deductions for this, tax credits for that. And when they don't get their way, they find all sorts of other clever ways to minimize their tax liabilities.


HOORAY FOR AMERICA!

stfu and get back on your own side of the fence.

Author:  the naked prophet [ Mon 05-10-2010 10:16AM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

tommytomtomtom wrote:
Or, they will use various tax shelters to hide millions. The CFO, CEO, and board members will then all get massive bonuses for their "creativity", and they will lay people off/cut benefits anyway. Do you really think that when potential profits are in the millions or billions a company will just take their marbles and go home? Why do you think that the tax code is so massive? Corporate interest have lobbied year in-year out for special treatment, deductions for this, tax credits for that. And when they don't get their way, they find all sorts of other clever ways to minimize their tax liabilities.




And corporate interests bought themselves a president from Chicago to protect their profits.




In an actual free-market economy (as opposed to a semi-socialist economy where the government protects certain companies from competition and rewards them with tax money for their financial support), a company which gives millions to its CEOs in a bad economy would go out of business because the competition would use those millions to give price cuts, which would take all the market share away from the greedy CEO's business.

Author:  zeroluck [ Mon 05-10-2010 7:56PM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

the naked prophet wrote:
a company which gives millions to its CEOs in a bad economy would go out of business because the competition would use those millions to give price cuts, which would take all the market share away from the greedy CEO's business.


it is typical of liberals to point the finger at the "bad CEO", but what they don't realize is again, by increasing regulation we move away from a free market, and remove the market's natural force to snuff that shit out, so really, liberal economic policies cause the "bad CEO" in the first place.

also, hasn't it ever occurred to anyone that being the head of a company that makes $20 billion a year in revenue might warrant a pretty high salary? and even if you don't think so, who the fuck are you to say what another man can or can't earn?

Author:  the naked prophet [ Tue 05-11-2010 7:01AM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

zeroluck wrote:
also, hasn't it ever occurred to anyone that being the head of a company that makes $20 billion a year in revenue might warrant a pretty high salary? and even if you don't think so, who the fuck are you to say what another man can or can't earn?




Just because the CEO who makes millions and millions of dollars earns that money by providing a good or service at a reasonable price to millions of people, and provides a job to millions more people, not to mention spends millions of dollars on things that other people have jobs to provide to him...

Whereas if the government takes those millions of dollars, most of it goes to pay bureaucrats whose only job is to sit in an office and take away people's money.

Author:  bagvwf [ Thu 05-13-2010 9:32AM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

Real CEOs get paid in stock options. If they were smart, the entire executive board would be paid solely in stock options.

Author:  the naked prophet [ Mon 05-17-2010 5:11PM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

bagvwf wrote:
Real CEOs get paid in stock options. If they were smart, the entire executive board would be paid solely in stock options.


Except if that's the case, they'll dump the stocks before trouble shows. Now, if they got paid a living wage and anything above that was in stocks which can't be sold for 10 years, they'd have a good incentive to keep the company running and running well, not to mention incentive to help pick a good successor.

Of course, that's something for the shareholders to vote on, not for the government to dictate.

Author:  CaptainCard [ Wed 06-02-2010 1:55PM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

zeroluck wrote:
the naked prophet wrote:
a company which gives millions to its CEOs in a bad economy would go out of business because the competition would use those millions to give price cuts, which would take all the market share away from the greedy CEO's business.


it is typical of liberals to point the finger at the "bad CEO", but what they don't realize is again, by increasing regulation we move away from a free market, and remove the market's natural force to snuff that shit out, so really, liberal economic policies cause the "bad CEO" in the first place.

also, hasn't it ever occurred to anyone that being the head of a company that makes $20 billion a year in revenue might warrant a pretty high salary? and even if you don't think so, who the fuck are you to say what another man can or can't earn?

The markets normal audibility? Look at the last time we had Laisse Faire Capitalism, (late 1800s). The Robber Barons and the monopolies had hold on everything. The market could not fix itself due to inability to find a competitor AND the fact the monopolies were cheaper. The companies could do whatever they wanted because they had complete control of their market(s).

Author:  zeroluck [ Thu 06-03-2010 12:20PM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

CaptainCard wrote:
Some liberal shit


go move to greece

Author:  the naked prophet [ Fri 06-04-2010 8:56AM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

CaptainCard wrote:
The markets normal audibility? Look at the last time we had Laisse Faire Capitalism, (late 1800s). The Robber Barons and the monopolies had hold on everything. The market could not fix itself due to inability to find a competitor AND the fact the monopolies were cheaper. The companies could do whatever they wanted because they had complete control of their market(s).



Even if we were to take your word for the way it was back then (which is dubious), today things are different.

In the 1800s both travel and information were severely limited. Today not only can you drive 100 miles to find a better/cheaper/competing store, you can order just about anything off of the internet. And you can find out everything you might want to know about the available competition to any particular company.

Don't think there's enough competition? Start your own store. You say Wal-Mart sells everything cheaper than you possibly could? Sell something they don't sell - used items, high-end items, products/services that complement the cheap stuff you get at Wal-Mart or take advantage of the high traffic near a Wal-Mart (in case you didn't know, many small businesses love Wal-Mart because of the high traffic - the ones who don't love Wal-Mart are the ones trying to directly compete against that model of efficiency and bargaining power).



Speaking of "Robber Barons," do you know what a Robber Baron does? A robber baron is part of the Feudal power structure, in which subjects are not free (and not called citizens) and cannot own property, only rent it from the robber baron. A robber baron steals a large percentage of the subjects income in return for "protection," ostensibly from other robber barons. But like a mob protection racket, the only protection it buys is from the robber baron who will throw the subjects in prison if they refuse to pay. Oh, and only the robber baron's guards are allowed to be armed or to use any type of force.

Yeah, it sure sounds like those Robber Barons were running the monopolies back in the 1800s... wait, no, that sounds more like the government.

Anyway, it's a good thing we've got more government regulation on the health care industry now that the free market ruined it... well, the sort-of-free market... okay, the government enforced monopolies (or oligopolies) within each state and actively prevented any sort of competition, but that's the free market's fault anyway, right? No, it's Bush's fault. Or Halliburton. No, Halliburton was the hurricane machine. Damn, you liberals are confusing to follow.

Author:  zeroluck [ Tue 06-08-2010 6:30PM ]
Post subject:  Re: Clever corporate layoff strategy

the naked prophet wrote:
Anyway, it's a good thing we've got more government regulation on the health care industry now that the free market ruined it... well, the sort-of-free market... okay, the government enforced monopolies (or oligopolies) within each state and actively prevented any sort of competition, but that's the free market's fault anyway, right? No, it's Bush's fault. Or Halliburton. No, Halliburton was the hurricane machine. Damn, you liberals are confusing to follow.


Q * F * T

the only thing that can save this country now is a paper shredder

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