Joined: Mon 09-15-2003 9:24PM Posts: 516 Location: 1603 N Walnut
Source: Altman Hall
Answering Machine at Mental Health Hospital
"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline......
" If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we
can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which
number to press.
If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will
answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a
representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of
birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0
0 0.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the
beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, please press 9. If you have short-term memory
loss, please press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, please press 9. If you
have short-term memory loss, please press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down & cry. You won't be crazy
forever.
If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up..."
_________________ . . .only in my day the rookie got naked. . . and we also used blanks, . . you're a sick mother fucker, Mac.
Thanks chief!
poodles and terriers should work, very fluffy.
Chiuawahs and those little wiener dogs dont have enough fur...
_________________ And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is full of wickedness that can ruin your whole life. It can turn the entire course of your life into a blazing flame of destruction, for it is set on fire by hell itself.
cats work best because they hate water, I doubt a dog would go nuts like a cat would. Hell if it where my dog it'll probably just lay in the toilet and drink/eat the contents of it's new home.
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