Not sure if this has a dedicated topic or not, but was wanting to hear all the women jokes people have. I'll get the ball rolling with a couple:

Q: Why did the women cross the road?
A: She didn't, she was in the kitchen making a sandwich

Q: Why is Helen Keller such a bad driver?
A: Because she's a women



no offense to any of the lady's out there, hope you find these amusing as well.

And the normalized rolla ratio approaches one.

LOL

Ah, come on, is that the best you can do? lol

the helen keller one is my favorite though.. of course there's always these:

Q: what do you tell a women with two black eyes?
A: nothing, you've already told her twice

Q: what's the difference between a battery and a women?
A: a battery has a positive side.

Q: Why does the bride always wear white?
A: Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

Q: How do you punish Hellen Keller?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet.



Enough of the Hellen Keller jokes, though...

Q: Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
A: She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.

Q: What is the first thing a woman does after coming home from the hospital?
A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

Q: What's strong like a man but made for a woman.
A: The back of my hand, now make me a sandwich

Haha, and you people bitch about women not talking to you, etc. etc. This thread is so fucking stupid that it's fucking hilarious.

I'm engaged! So more women jokes!

Engaged doesn't mean anything until the vows are said. And even then, if you know what's good for you, you'll keep quiet then too lest she take half your stuff.

Love you honey bitch

What do you do when your dishwasher won't work?
Dump her and get a new one.

Why do women have such little feet?
So they can get closer to the stove.

There was once a woman who found a magic lamp and was granted three wishes. Her first wish was to be more attractive than any other woman. Poof, in a cloud of smoke she became the most beautiful woman in the world.

Her second wish was to be more wealthy than any other woman. In the blink of an eye, her bank accounts all held enough money to make Queen Elizabeth jealous.

Her final wish was to be smarter than any woman in the world. Poof--she turned into a man.

Too bad that started out as a man joke.

I support this thread.

Support it with more jokes!



The Top 10 reasons why a handgun is better than a woman

10.) You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.

9.) You can keep one handgun at home and have another for
when you're on the road.

8.) If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he
will probably let you try it out a few times.

7.) Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a
backup.

6.) Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of
ammo.

5.) A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

4.) Handguns function normally every day of the month.

3.) A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look
fat?"

2.) A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you
use it.

1.) You can buy a silencer for a handgun.

I appreciated it much more than my fiance did...