HOW ARE WOMEN LIKE PARKING SPACES?
The best ones are taken & the rest are handicapped.
HOW MANY MALE CHAUVINISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
None. Let the bitch do the dishes in the dark.
WHAT IS LOVE?
The delusion that one woman differs from another.
WHY ARE CYCLONES AND TORNADOES USUALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
Because they don't come very often but when they do come, they make a hell of a noise and when they go, they take half your house with them.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR WIFE & YOUR JOB? After 2 years your job still sucks.
WHY DID GOD CREATE LESBIANS? So feminists couldn't breed.
WHY CAN'T YOU TRUST WOMEN?
How can you trust something that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die?
WHY DO WOMEN RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING?
Because they don't have balls.
WHY DO WOMEN WEAR MAKE UP & PERFUME?
Because they're ugly and they smell.
WHY DO MEN FART MORE THAN WOMEN?
Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
WHY DID CAVEMEN DRAG THEIR WOMEN AROUND BY THE HAIR?
If they dragged them around by their feet, they'd fill up with mud.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOUR BONUS AND YOUR DICK?
You don't have to beg a woman to blow your bonus.
WHY IS A WOMAN LIKE A LAXATIVE?
They both irritate the **** out of you.
WHAT'S WORSE THAN A MALE CHAUVINIST PIG?
A woman who won't do as she's told.
WHY ARE WIVES LIKE CONDOMS?
They both spend too much time in your wallet, and not enough time on the end of your dick.
WHAT IS IT CALLED WHEN A WOMAN IS PARALYZED FROM THE WAIST DOWN?
Marriage.
WHY IS A BLOW JOB LIKE STEAK?
They're both very nice, but you don't get either at home.
WHY DO MEN DIE BEFORE THEIR WIVES?
They want to.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WOMAN WITH PMS, & A ROTTWEILER?
Lipstick.
HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO FIX A VACUUM CLEANER?
Why the hell should we fix it, we don't use the damn thing.
WHY ARE WOMEN LIKE SCREEN DOORS?
Once they get banged a few times, they loosen up.
WHAT IS A WIFE?
An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.
WHY DO WOMEN HAVE BOOBS?
So men will talk to them
WHY DO WOMEN CLOSE THEIR EYES DURING SEX?
They can't stand to see a man having a good time.
WHAT'S SIX INCHES LONG, TWO INCHES WIDE & DRIVES WOMEN WILD?
A hundred dollar bill
WHY DO WOMEN HAVE PERIODS?
Because they deserve them.
WHY DID THE WOMAN CROSS THE ROAD?
who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen anyway?
_________________
_________________ sadists kill for fun, mercenaries kill for money, marines kill for both
Why did the women cross the road?
Thats not the point, what the fu*k is she doing out of the kitchen,...... and while were at it where did she get those shoes?
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
You smack her!
Why do women have small feet?
So they can get closer to the sink.
Why dont women wear watches?
Because theres a clock on the oven!
Whats the first thing a women should do when she gets out of the battered shelter?
The dishes if she knows whats good for her!
What do 10,000 battered women do wrong ever year?
THEY DONT LISTEN!!!!!!
What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
Nothing you already told her twice!
Why did the women cross the road?
Thats not the point, what the fu*k is she doing out of the kitchen,...... and while were at it where did she get those shoes?
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
You smack her!
Why do women have small feet?
So they can get closer to the sink.
Why dont women wear watches?
Because theres a clock on the oven!
Whats the first thing a women should do when she gets out of the battered shelter?
The dishes if she knows whats good for her!
What do 10,000 battered women do wrong ever year?
THEY DONT LISTEN!!!!!!
What do you tell a women with two black eyes?
Nothing you already told her twice!
I'm imagining it was more of a select all, and then one copy, followed by one paste. Sweet Jesus that's a lot of work.
_________________ "Nor ought we to believe that there is much difference between man and man, but to think that the superiority lies with him who is reared in the severest school."
-- Thucydides
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